After the news broke about the Bitfinex and Tether solvency issues, long-time Bitcoin advocate and investor Roger Ver has decided to fly to the exchange’s world headquarters in Hong Kong. Upon meeting Bitfinex executive Merlin, he has taken a close look at multiple bank statements, as well as letters from banks and lawyers. Correspondingly, the conclusion of the Bitcoin Cash proponent is that all the current withdrawal problems are being caused by the traditional banking system, and not because of a lack of liquidity at Tether or Bitfinex.
Furthermore, it turns out that the demands of the growing Bitcoin economy (Bitcoin Cash, that is) are hard to keep up with, and the traditional banking partners are having a lot of issues trying to live up to the expectations. In the meantime, the dozens of people who work at Bitfinex are doing their best to establish partnerships with Justin Sun, so that USDT pegging can be replaced by a Tesla parity (each amount corresponds to a part of a brand new Tesla automobile).
Under these circumstances, Bitfinex will soon find it easier to deal with its worldwide customers, and it will continue growing in spite of the concerns expressed by Crypto Twitter cartoon characters. Furthermore, Roger Ver has expressed his conviction that the exchange’s employees will continue to make the entire market a better place by offering discounts on Bitcoin Cash and USDT.
When asked about the lawsuit involving the New York Attorney General Letitia James, the owner of Bitcoin.com replied that he used to be friends with a very convincing lawyer who was able to persuade everyone from the BBC to Kevin Pham and Daniel Krawisz that he is the real deal. Given this mysterious man’s skills, Mr. Ver said that he is positive that Bitfinex will prove solvency.
This article is a satire and should be regarded as such. Roger Ver never made any of these statements about Bitfinex (though they are paraphrased from the Mt. Gox video for comic relief).
Read more (satirical articles):
- JP Morgan drops JPM Coin, embraces XRP
- Satoshi Nakamoto returns to Bitcointalk: “I am not Craig S. Wright”